Copyright Christian Bodart 1998 One of a series... |
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This is the story of Mr Charming. Mr Charming is the most charming man in the whole of London and, forgetting France and Italy, the whole wide world. The most charming Londoner there has ever been, and probably the most charming Londoner there will ever be. He is so charming that he can not only charm the most beautiful models and actresses, he can charm intelligent women too. |
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Mr Charming is so charming that he once swept a princess off her feet (but these days who hasn't?) |
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He is so charming that he once persuaded seventeen Nuns to change out of their habits on a pilgrimage to Lourdes! He is so charming it's alarming And disarming! |
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And would you like to know the secret of Mr Charming's charm? Questions! The more questions he asks, the more charming he becomes. He never talks about himself, he just asks girls questions and questions and questions. Oh and compliments, flowers, chocolates, dinners, a nice car and a good job. |
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Anyway, this story is about something that happened to Mr Charming one day. That day he was at lunch. And for lunch he was having a Caesar salad and a gorgeous young actress. And besides eating his salad guess what he was doing? Asking questions! That's right. Questions! That was a normal lunch for Mr Charming. |
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After having lunch Mr Charming went to the men's room to wash. And, as usual, Mr Charming saw a girl to charm. And, as usual, he went over towards the girl to be charming. And, as usual, the girl had already noticed Mr Charming |
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Not because Mr Charming is handsome (though he is). Not because Mr Charming was wearing a nice suit and very good shoes (though this helped). Not even because he had an expensive looking watch (always a winner). Why? Because he was smiling! |
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It was a rainy day in London and therefore nobody remotely normal in
the whole of London was smiling. What a clever man! What a charming man, our Mr Charming! Half charmed already, the girl half smiled as Mr Charming began to talk to her. "Hi", said Mr Charming. The girl completely smiled now because Mr Charming had not used a cheesy chat up line. "I'm meeting a friend upstairs in half an hour but I was hoping you might let me join you until then. May I?" |
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It was difficult for a girl to say no to such a polite question and after all what's half an hour of chatting to a stranger. Especially to such a nicely dressed man that smiles on a rainy day. After a moment's thought the girl said, "Okay". And you know what Mr Charming did next? He asked questions! |
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He found out everything about the girl. Including her phone number! And lots of other little things that he would remember for next time he saw her. As they left the girl thought, "What a charming man, I would really like to find out more about him! And he picked up the tab!" |
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And guess what? Mr Charming conveniently forgot all about his 'friend upstairs'! And so did the girl! And pretty soon they found themselves upstairs at her place! And of course being Mr Charming, Mr Charming got a very tasty breakfast into the bargain too! |
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And so Mr Charming lived...... Always asking questions (but never being nosey). Always being polite (but never being cheesy). Always being well dressed (but never too fashionable). Always smiling (but never smug). But most of all, always asking questions...... charming many, many girls and getting his wicked way an awful lot. |
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Until one day..... |
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Mr Charming went to see The Doctor. Now it was Mr Charming's turn to answer questions. Afterward The Doctor said "I'm very sorry but you've caught VD". "Charming!", said Mr Charming. |
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I told you Mr Charming was
clever but I never said he was sensible! Ha! Ha! |
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